Unwanted gamers

Anywho, Todd and I were playing in a new group and new game, Warhammer Fantasy, and I had taken on the role of man at arms, named A'nall. Also known as A'nall the Intruder. Todd was playing another incarnation of Bytor, a dwarf warrior, with a strength score bordering on the legendary.

We were in a game ran by a guy that playtested Fasa stuff, and Mike, yes the GM from before, playing an elven wizard's apprentice. His wife, not Mike's, but the GM, was also playing some type of character, memory fails, I think ranger?, and after the second meeting, a staff wielding druidy type guy of the spell caster variety.

Anywho, we had several issues, we being Todd and I, most coming from the Elf, Mike, rushing headlong into combat that he was not readily prepared for. The first encounter burnt my first fate point, (get out of a bad situation point), and the second made me and Bytor wanted men. We recommended other actions beside blantant stupidity and recklessness, but the Elven pinhead just kept up the folly. We were awarded xp for role-playing, and team play, so we tried to function as a team, well, Bytor and I anyway.

His foolishness came full circle as a coach reined in, asking us if we would like conveyance to the next town. Bytor, yes Todd, and I having had issues prior, begged off that we like the air, and prefer the exercise. He, being Mike, tried to charm his wasy close so he could grab the woman, and waylay her as he boarded. Anywho he missed his attempt by, well, biblical proportion, but evidently the GM needed this encounter for a plot devise, resolved it by stating, the coach woman found his attempt funny... Funny?

We ran into Olaf the staff-wielding guy soon thereafter, who refused to join our camp, when asked, (repeatedly), beating his staff against a tree in the darkness. Bytor asumed the worst, and began to fire arrows in the offender's direction, so he might not be a beacon of wandering monsters. This lead to a little agitation on our part, and his, and later that night, after we hit town, he wasted two hours of real time, trying to discover how to make coffee at the alchemist's in town. Yes that's right, two hours. Two of the longerst hours of my life.

We, (just Bytor and I ), were later rounded up ( locked up) for coming into town, but not riding with, the crazy coach woman, that we didnt want to be associated with, because she was also wanted. Later we were sprung, by the rest of the partyand made to feel shame even though it was not our fault, and yes, wanted posters, of just Bytor and I, began circulation. We were becoming increasingly angered at the prattling, and the GM's inability to punish outright moronic play, and by punish I mean kill, as he did to Bytor the third game night.

Now, neither one of our characters were very bright to begin with, (low scores), ands we were made to roll in this category often. Mike had spoken with the Gm, who thought we resented his character cause he was smart or something. Todd and I would hit town, tie up the plotlines, armor and heal up, and get ready to continue the campaign. We were very excited about the CAMPAIGN, for we played more randomly rather than the campaign route. The other players were aimlessly about, loafing in town without rhyme nor reason. Anywho, the elf wizard finally met an a messy end, again playing the LONE conquering hero, as Todd's new character , and a newly disguised and heavily armored A'nall refused to help since we were unlucky enough to know him. After Olaf called us "stupid", and the GM quickly stated that he meant our characters and not us, it was going downhill fast.

Our last night involved Todd and I finding a ring, that we gave to the elf, because we were not smart enough to decipher its functions, who later died, yes that was/is Mike, and we got our gear together and waited for four hours of real time so the "confederacy of dunces" could get their coffee making/drinking shit together. After an excruciating eon of waiting and meeting Mike's new character, Jimmy Crackcorn or something, I did mention I hope they were not waiting on the ring....Because we gave it to the freaking Elf, that was freaking killed, and the freaking inn, where he was freaking killed, was freaking razed, to the freaking ground. All of them FORGOT that part... Gee (total time wasted after four six hour sessions was now twenty).

We, then with no plot devices, Todd and A'Nall, who too by the way, had a strength rivaling the gods, were actually held up at the Southern Gate and questioned thouroughly about the wanted men. Bytor was a dwarf and long dead, in a horribly contrived way, and his new character was human, so he was free and clear of random hassling from the man. The Gm's wife, and the Tree-wacker, actually gave pause to make me sweat it out, for they were so insulted at being wrong about the ring... I just thought of grabbing her as I would take us both over the bridge with my orgrish might. The hundred or so foot fall would give her time to re-think her rashness. But it never came to pass.

We were not invited back to play believe it or not, but another friend of mine was, so all the sniping at our expense was soon discovered. It was mostly against Todd, but he was just as frustated as I with the group.

The list of screwy things was endless. The elf would wear armor all the time, then take it all off to cast a spell, then take another 5 rounds to don it. I was not allowed to use a spear, which as you know is a pointed stick, that's a staff, with a pointy end, because it was a specialists weapon, which it is not. The coffee junkie did get to use a staff, that he negotiated to have one end filled with lead shot so he could avoid the penalty on damage. Bytor, of course ,was a dwarf, but according to the GM, was raised by human parents, his long and detailed character history thrown to the wind. Bytor did die in a convenient and contrived way, right after Bytor had questioned the GM's call. I think it involved Bytor scaling down a rope, without looking down, and into two guards, one on either side, even though he had nightvision.

Every bad event or situatuion usually stemmed for wanton play from the other party members that seemed to only penalize the chosen few, usually resulting in death, incarceration, loss of fate, loss of coin, or becoming popular in a BAD way.


Sometimes gaming, even when its bad, well, really is bad. Go to the doctor and get rid of it.